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Family

Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You?

Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “uh-oh” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says “I never want to grow up!” Maybe you’ve tried to date someone like that, or maybe one of your parents was like that. Or maybe (forgive me …

Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You? Read More »

How to Mend a Broken Relationship

If you grew up with abuse and neglect in your childhood, chances are good that you’ve suffered more than your share of broken relationships. Sometimes the break is caused by the other person, but today I want to talk about broken relationships where we played a role in hurting our connection with someone we care …

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Is Bitterness Blocking Your Ability to Heal from Childhood PTSD?

You probably know a few people who are stuck in bitterness. In big ways and small, you may be stuck there too.  Bitterness is the seventh of the eight obstacles to healing from Childhood PTSD that I’m covering in my resilience series. I want to talk about what bitterness looks like,  how to know if …

Is Bitterness Blocking Your Ability to Heal from Childhood PTSD? Read More »

Did Childhood PTSD Teach You To FIT Yourself to CRAP?

One of the harmful effects of growing up with abuse and neglect, is that we get ALL too good at fitting ourselves to unacceptable people and situations. Long after normal people would have left the scene, our minds tell us it’s our fault, it’s a unique situation, we should stay and make it work. In …

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Childhood PTSD and ANGER: Is it Ever a GOOD Thing?

For me, one of the biggest burdens of my past was in my relationship to anger. When I was a kid, the adults in my life went WAY out of control with their anger. I grew up watching my dad rage at my mom, and my mom berate my dad. The two of them would …

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Childhood PTSD and BLAME: How Much Is Too Much?

  When we’re talking about abuse and neglect in childhood, there’s no way to avoid placing blame on the parents who perpetrated the abuse or neglect. On some level, even if they had mental health problems or addictions that clouded their awareness, they had to know that what they were doing was wrong. This early …

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Childhood PTSD and The Guilty Feeling: When Is It Real?

Abuse and neglect in childhood can leave a lifelong residue of guilt for things that were never our fault. This same fuzzy thinking can ALSO make us numb to the awareness that we HAVE actually hurt someone. This can make it painful to decide whether to stay connected — or cut off contact — with …

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How To Stay (Mostly) Sane When Family Visits Make You Crazy

Yay! The holidays are here and everywhere, people with some level of Childhood PTSD are facing the prospect of returning home. Let’s say you’ve escaped a childhood that contained abuse, neglect, and exposure to parental violence and addiction, and let’s say now you’re living happy and free as a grown-up. You get an e-mail. It’s …

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