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DESTRUCTIVE PEOPLE: Does CPTSD Make It Hard for You to Spot Them?

Detecting who is safe and supportive — and who is NOT — is a level of discernment that can be damaged by past abuse, neglect and trauma. In this video I talk about common challenges spotting people who are unhealthy for us. And I talk about the two emotional reactions that must be healed in …

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Did Childhood PTSD Teach You To FIT Yourself to CRAP?

One of the harmful effects of growing up with abuse and neglect, is that we get ALL too good at fitting ourselves to unacceptable people and situations. Long after normal people would have left the scene, our minds tell us it’s our fault, it’s a unique situation, we should stay and make it work. In …

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Childhood PTSD and BLAME: How Much Is Too Much?

  When we’re talking about abuse and neglect in childhood, there’s no way to avoid placing blame on the parents who perpetrated the abuse or neglect. On some level, even if they had mental health problems or addictions that clouded their awareness, they had to know that what they were doing was wrong. This early …

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Chemical Imbalance, Or Just Childhood PTSD?

Millions of people — more than 1 in 7 in the U.S alone — are taking psychiatric drugs for depression and anxiety. It’s not clear, however, that they are helpful for treating the effects of early trauma. These symptoms may include depression and anxiety, but rather than a chemical imbalance, the cause may indeed stem …

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CPTSD: Four Discoveries That Revolutionized Treatment

Now that we know adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can cause neurological changes, the old, mostly psychological approaches to treating CPTSD are making way for newer, brain-based treatments that hold promise for millions of survivors. In this video I talk about four discoveries that transformed our old understanding of the problem. I describe more effective strategies …

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CPTSD and The Attraction to Unavailable People: Video Excerpt From New Course (Part 1)

Last fall I surveyed followers of the Crappy Childhood Fairy to ask what topics I should be sure to cover in my new course on Dating and Relationships. By far, the number one answer was “dating unavailable and inappropriate people”. The new course is open for registration (!!!) and I wanted to give you a …

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Are You RE-Traumatizing Yourself? 16 Self-Defeating Behaviors Common with Childhood PTSD

Part of the damage from abuse and neglect in childhood is what actually happened when we were kids. But a significant part of the problem today comes from what I call “Inside Traumas.” These are self-defeating behaviors that are common to people who are frequently in a state of dysregulation. They start as an innocent …

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How To Stay (Mostly) Sane When Family Visits Make You Crazy

Yay! The holidays are here and everywhere, people with some level of Childhood PTSD are facing the prospect of returning home. Let’s say you’ve escaped a childhood that contained abuse, neglect, and exposure to parental violence and addiction, and let’s say now you’re living happy and free as a grown-up. You get an e-mail. It’s …

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Growing Up “Hippie Poor” vs. “Hillbilly Poor”:

Recently I finished J.D. Vance’s excellent Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis, a book that’s part sociological analysis about poor white Americans, and part memoir about growing up with a drug-addicted mother and all the crappy crap that goes with that. I come from the opposite corner of the socioeconomic spectrum (well, the …

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