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Dating and Relationships

Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You?

Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “uh-oh” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says “I never want to grow up!” Maybe you’ve tried to date someone like that, or maybe one of your parents was like that. Or maybe (forgive me …

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The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU — and you don’t know why — the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing.  People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you — trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding …

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The Emptiness You Feel Is Trying to Tell You Something

I read a short story last week that was about emptiness and love. That funny thing that happens sometimes, happened, and three different people wrote to me within about 24 hours about… emptiness and love. They were feeling — and I think a lot of us are feeling it — a harsh, empty, loveless feeling …

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Dreading Valentines Day? Here’s Something to Heal That.

This Valentines Day, Prepare for REAL Love: Heal the Effects of Childhood PTSD On Your Romantic Life. A history of trauma in childhood can take a terrible toll on relationships. It’s SO common for us to choose unavailable/inappropriate people, get close too quickly, and stay in bad situations because the thought of abandonment is unbearable. Sometimes …

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If You Had Just ONE YEAR to HEAL CPTSD, What Would You Do?

It’s New Year’s Day as I write this. And today I’ve got an exercise for your imagination, designed to help you do great things and feel happier in the next 12 months, and maybe help you get unstuck if that’s where you are right now.  (There’s link below this article where you can download and …

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CPTSD Confusion: How to Get Clarity in All Your Relationships (Resilience Series)

One of the the most common, painful adult manifestations of Childhood PTSD is difficulty perceiving reality accurately, especially around the meaning of interactions we have with other people. We have trouble sometimes predicting that a choice is risky, or that a person we meet is unreliable, or whether our own sense of discomfort is an …

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CPTSD and Social AWKWARDNESS

For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here’s an example…. Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry …

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CPTSD: How to Keep Your Brain and Emotions Regulated in a Relationship

Just like other people, most of us who grew up with childhood trauma want to be, or are in, a loving partnership or marriage. My Dating and Relationships course talks about many of the obstacles we face when meet and form relationships with others. But ONE of the videos in that course is about BEING …

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