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Childhood PTSD & CPTSD

The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU — and you don’t know why — the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing.  People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you — trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding …

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CPTSD: Here’s What Healing FEELS Like

I don’t know why you’re not allowed to say this, but I will: Talking about the trauma that happened to you as a kid will not, by itself, heal Childhood PTSD. In fact, for a lot of us, talking about it, exploring it and processing it (the approach in traditional therapy) can make healing from …

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CPTSD: Can People SENSE It In You?

It’s awful to say, but have you ever noticed that when your Childhood PTSD symptoms are “up” again, it’s as if you have a dark cloud around you that people can feel? It feels a bit like an invisible force that pushes people away. It’s one more weird thing that can happen when abuse and …

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How to Deal With Haters

One hard thing about my work is — I get hate mail sometimes. Maybe you do too — or you just get exposed to other people’s hurtful messages, and feel “punched in the gut” or outraged when you’re just going about your business reading articles online or scrolling through your social media feed — in …

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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH

Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others.  The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this?  Here in California we’ve been …

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Why I Quit Therapy

Everyone tells you when you’re having a hard time, especially when you had a lot of trauma as a kid, that you should “go talk to someone.”  “You should “find a good therapist.” But for me, talk therapy didn’t help, and I want to tell you why. At the beginning of 2020, I posted a …

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How to Mend a Broken Relationship

If you grew up with abuse and neglect in your childhood, chances are good that you’ve suffered more than your share of broken relationships. Sometimes the break is caused by the other person, but today I want to talk about broken relationships where we played a role in hurting our connection with someone we care …

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Is Your Partner’s CPTSD Hurting Your Relationship?

Happy Valentines Day to all you good people out there! I talk a lot about breaking isolation and forming relationships, but a topic many of you have asked me to cover is, how to be in a relationship with another person who has Childhood PTSD. This is such an important question, about something that can …

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Dreading Valentines Day? Here’s Something to Heal That.

This Valentines Day, Prepare for REAL Love: Heal the Effects of Childhood PTSD On Your Romantic Life. A history of trauma in childhood can take a terrible toll on relationships. It’s SO common for us to choose unavailable/inappropriate people, get close too quickly, and stay in bad situations because the thought of abandonment is unbearable. Sometimes …

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CPTSD: Are you TRIGGERED by ABANDONMENT?

One of the worst triggers of Childhood PTSD symptoms for many of us is the feeling of abandonment.  This trigger is primal because we’re all wired to be loved and included in the tribe as if our lives depended on it.  Because in any situation before the last 100 years or so, our lives did …

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