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Childhood PTSD & CPTSD

Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You?

Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “uh-oh” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says “I never want to grow up!” Maybe you’ve tried to date someone like that, or maybe one of your parents was like that. Or maybe (forgive me …

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CPTSD: The Number One Reason Your Past is Making You Miserable

I’ve learned so much from the community that’s gathered around my YouTube channel. I’ve noticed that comments are usually one of two kinds, and one of them is from people who still feel stuck in their early trauma. At it’s heart, Childhood PTSD is an injury to the ability to connect. From this injury, come …

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Managing CPTSD When the World is On Fire

When the world around you becomes unstable, there are two basic energies you can adopt.  For those who went through trauma as a child, it’s hard to avoid getting stuck in one of them. Self protection. As much as we need safety, inside and out — we also need growth. If you have Childhood PTSD …

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The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU — and you don’t know why — the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing.  People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you — trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding …

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CPTSD: Here’s What Healing FEELS Like

I don’t know why you’re not allowed to say this, but I will: Talking about the trauma that happened to you as a kid will not, by itself, heal Childhood PTSD. In fact, for a lot of us, talking about it, exploring it and processing it (the approach in traditional therapy) can make healing from …

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CPTSD: Can People SENSE It In You?

It’s awful to say, but have you ever noticed that when your Childhood PTSD symptoms are “up” again, it’s as if you have a dark cloud around you that people can feel? It feels a bit like an invisible force that pushes people away. It’s one more weird thing that can happen when abuse and …

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How to Deal With Haters

One hard thing about my work is — I get hate mail sometimes. Maybe you do too — or you just get exposed to other people’s hurtful messages, and feel “punched in the gut” or outraged when you’re just going about your business reading articles online or scrolling through your social media feed — in …

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CPTSD: How to Transform Fear, and Develop INNER STRENGTH

Now that the pandemic has us all in a crisis situation, we’re about to find out to find out who falls apart in a crisis, and who rises up to serve, lead and encourage others.  The ones who shine are not always who we expected — have you noticed this?  Here in California we’ve been …

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Why I Quit Therapy

Everyone tells you when you’re having a hard time, especially when you had a lot of trauma as a kid, that you should “go talk to someone.”  “You should “find a good therapist.” But for me, talk therapy didn’t help, and I want to tell you why. At the beginning of 2020, I posted a …

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How to Mend a Broken Relationship

If you grew up with abuse and neglect in your childhood, chances are good that you’ve suffered more than your share of broken relationships. Sometimes the break is caused by the other person, but today I want to talk about broken relationships where we played a role in hurting our connection with someone we care …

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