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Boundaries

Why You Keep PLAYING SMALL

Your childhood trauma tried to destroy you when you were little and you survived. Right now is the time when you get to decide whether you will take the path of real healing and become your full and real self — or whether you’ll take the road that looks easier, and keep playing small.   It …

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Trauma-Driven Decisions: How to Stop Before They Happen

If you had trauma when you were little, I’m going to guess that you’ve made some really bad decisions in your life… strange self-sabotaging decisions about relationships, jobs, or the way you express yourself when you’re angry.  And you know you’re doing something that’s not right because the people around you are giving you that …

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Five Steps to Protect Yourself from OPINION BULLIES

There has never been a time when thinking clearly, and thinking for yourself, have been more important than they are right now.  With Childhood PTSD, it’s all too common that we end up losing ourselves around other people — especially people with strong personalities and strong opinions. It’s OK that people have strong opinions. But …

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Why You Don’t Feel HEARD

It is SO common for people who had childhood trauma go through life feeling disconnected and unimportant to other people, and a big piece of that is feeling not heard: people don’t listen when you express yourself, or they listen, but they don’t get it or they don’t believe you. Or worse, they don’t care. …

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The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU — and you don’t know why — the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing.  People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you — trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding …

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Is Your Partner’s CPTSD Hurting Your Relationship?

Happy Valentines Day to all you good people out there! I talk a lot about breaking isolation and forming relationships, but a topic many of you have asked me to cover is, how to be in a relationship with another person who has Childhood PTSD. This is such an important question, about something that can …

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CPTSD: Are You So DEFENDED You Struggle to Connect with People? (Resilience Series)

One of the most popular topics in all my content is the problem of loneliness and isolation. I knew this was common for those of us with Childhood PTSD, but from the comments and the e-mail I’ve received from all of you, I learned that loneliness is not just common, but a core issue for …

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CPTSD: Do You Isolate Because It’s Hard to Hold Boundaries?

Have you ever been at home, and you hear the doorbell, and you’re pretty sure it’s somebody selling something or giving out literature, and instead of answering the door, you HIDE? Like on the floor? Whispering so they won’t “know” you’re there? This is a form of isolating because we don’t trust ourselves to have boundaries. …

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