VIDEO TRANSCRIPT: Hi. I’m Anna Runkle also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy. Today, I’m really excited, because I get to answer a reader question and I love giving advice. Someone wrote in to me and said, “My therapist says I apologize too much and I blame myself too much. Is he wrong?” Continue reading ““Dear Fairy: My Therapist Says I Blame Myself Too Much. Is He Wrong?””
When we talk about trauma, we are usually referring to the things done TO us — childhood abuse and neglect, growing up poor, violence by a partner, exposure to war…
But the more we were exposed to these traumas from an outside source, the more likely we are to adopt what I call “inside traumas” — the things we believe and do today that can actually make the effects of old traumas worse. They start as an innocent flight away Continue reading “The Traumas We Inflict On Ourselves”
Today you’d probably lump me in with the middle class, but I carry some residue of having grown up poor. I work with people who work hard to help the poor, but have not themselves ever been poor. There are things they don’t understand.
People who grew up with money tend to think that poverty is something they can fix with things like education, “empowerment” or initiatives that almost always have the words “community,” “youth,” “program,” and “center” in them.
This week, my video talks about the seeming cloud that can hang over folks who who went through a lot of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). It’s a cloud made of negative outside stigma and our injured self-esteem. It limits us through tiny little changes in our habits, our judgment and our thinking. The good news is, there’s a Continue reading “Did Childhood PTSD Leave You With “The Underdog Effect?” Here’s How To Undo It.”
Well, it’s what we suspected all along…
A new study from the University of Wisconsin-Madison shows that stress from childhood is linked with a diminished awareness of looming risk or punishment, and higher than normal emotional reactions to the consequences. This confirms a lot of stuff we’ve been Continue reading ““High-Stress Childhood” Linked With Troubling Lack of Brain Activity Around RISK Perception (Which Explains a LOT).”
If you grew up with a lot of childhood crap, you probably know a thing or two about broken down relationships! And sometimes, sometimes, it’s we who did the breaking. Or at least played a part in it. If you have any apologies you’ve been meaning to give, but weren’t sure how, this is the video for you. Would love to hear your feedback in the comments section.
This week, I’m introducing the new crappy vlog format. Same sloppy visuals as the drawings on written posts, same overly long narration. All new content! Hope you enjoy.
In the last couple of weeks, the “Me Too” campaign has prompted lots and lots of women to start speaking up about experiences they’ve had being raped, sexually abused and sexually harassed. With just two little words, a couple of women let the world know, that it had happened to them, too. Some famous women posted it, and then more women Continue reading “Your Soul Opens When You Tell the Truth”
For most of my life, I used to feel panicked when I used to see a hair stylist. The circular thoughts in my head went like this: My hair is about to be ruined.
The haircutter thinks I am white trash. She will think I want an awful, trashy haircut unless I can show her that it’s not who I am. But if I say one word about this, she’ll think I’m a bitch. So my hair is about to be ruined… ” and so on.
OK, so before you get all mad and think I don’t understand, I completely understand that some problems are really not self-created, but caused by other people and circumstances.
A young person who is abused is not responsible for that. An infant who is neglected is not responsible for that. A child who grows up in a neighborhood torn by gang violence is not responsible for that. Such people, like everyone who suffers, may be affected for life in physical and psychological ways. But then what? Can adults who experienced Continue reading “A Huge Proportion of Your Problems Today Are Because of You (And Why That’s GOOD)”