Your childhood trauma tried to destroy you when you were little and you survived. Right now is the time when you get to decide whether you will take the path of real healing and become your full and real self — or whether you’ll take the road that looks easier, and keep playing small. It …
There is something unfair that happens when you’ve survived traumatic times. Even when the abuse wasn’t in any way your fault, people stop trusting you. You get abused and they don’t trust you. And you might think this is just because they were horrible people who don’t understand — and sometimes they don’t… But when …
Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “uh-oh” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says “I never want to grow up!” Maybe you’ve tried to date someone like that, or maybe one of your parents was like that. Or maybe (forgive me …
Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You? Read More »
One hard thing about my work is — I get hate mail sometimes. Maybe you do too — or you just get exposed to other people’s hurtful messages, and feel “punched in the gut” or outraged when you’re just going about your business reading articles online or scrolling through your social media feed — in …
If you grew up with abuse and neglect in your childhood, chances are good that you’ve suffered more than your share of broken relationships. Sometimes the break is caused by the other person, but today I want to talk about broken relationships where we played a role in hurting our connection with someone we care …
Happy Valentines Day to all you good people out there! I talk a lot about breaking isolation and forming relationships, but a topic many of you have asked me to cover is, how to be in a relationship with another person who has Childhood PTSD. This is such an important question, about something that can …
Is Your Partner’s CPTSD Hurting Your Relationship? Read More »
For many of us who grew up with abuse or neglect during childhood, there’s this steep learning curve around PERCEPTION — and by that I mean being able to discern what is true and not true, what is my responsibility and what is not my fault, when I’m in danger and when, maybe I’m just …
Did CPTSD from Childhood Trauma Damage Your PERCEPTION? Read More »
For me, one of the biggest burdens of my past was in my relationship to anger. When I was a kid, the adults in my life went WAY out of control with their anger. I grew up watching my dad rage at my mom, and my mom berate my dad. The two of them would …
Childhood PTSD and ANGER: Is it Ever a GOOD Thing? Read More »
When we’re talking about abuse and neglect in childhood, there’s no way to avoid placing blame on the parents who perpetrated the abuse or neglect. On some level, even if they had mental health problems or addictions that clouded their awareness, they had to know that what they were doing was wrong. This early …
Abuse and neglect in childhood can leave a lifelong residue of guilt for things that were never our fault. This same fuzzy thinking can ALSO make us numb to the awareness that we HAVE actually hurt someone. This can make it painful to decide whether to stay connected — or cut off contact — with …
Childhood PTSD and The Guilty Feeling: When Is It Real? Read More »
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