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Anna Runkle

I'm the author of the Crappy Childhood Fairy blog, which offers advice based on my own experience and reading. I live with my husband and kids, and run a small business in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Dysregulation, Disconnection, Self-Defeating Behaviors: The Heart of CPTSD

Why do SO few people make real progress recovering from the long term effects of childhood trauma? If you ask me, it’s because of the misguided belief that telling the story of what happened in the past — if we just probe the memories enough and generate enough emotions around those memories — will somehow …

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How to CALM CPTSD Triggers Instantly

When you have Childhood PTSD, there is nothing worse than being in some crucial conversation or some big moment, and some little thing triggers you. And even though you know it’s not worth getting upset about, it happens anyway. It’s like you can feel it spreading through your body — the feeling of adrenaline and dyscombobulation, feeling …

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Why You Don’t Feel HEARD

It is SO common for people who had childhood trauma go through life feeling disconnected and unimportant to other people, and a big piece of that is feeling not heard: people don’t listen when you express yourself, or they listen, but they don’t get it or they don’t believe you. Or worse, they don’t care. …

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Is the CHILD in You Controlling the ADULT In You?

Of all the red flags I’ve learned to detect, there’s one that really makes my “uh-oh” radar go off, and that’s when a grown man or woman says “I never want to grow up!” Maybe you’ve tried to date someone like that, or maybe one of your parents was like that. Or maybe (forgive me …

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Why Can’t I Make People Stop TRIGGERING Me?

I’m going to say something very ‘tough love’ here: As a person with Childhood PTSD, You can ask others to understand you and your sensitivities, and you can even ask them to help you avoid getting triggered. But you know what? They are not obliged to do any of it. That doesn’t mean they don’t …

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CPTSD: The Number One Reason Your Past is Making You Miserable

I’ve learned so much from the community that’s gathered around my YouTube channel. I’ve noticed that comments are usually one of two kinds, and one of them is from people who still feel stuck in their early trauma. At it’s heart, Childhood PTSD is an injury to the ability to connect. From this injury, come …

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Managing CPTSD When the World is On Fire

When the world around you becomes unstable, there are two basic energies you can adopt.  For those who went through trauma as a child, it’s hard to avoid getting stuck in one of them. Self protection. As much as we need safety, inside and out — we also need growth. If you have Childhood PTSD …

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The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

If you’re feeling like the people YOU like, don’t like YOU — and you don’t know why — the first thing you want to look at is whether you are people-pleasing.  People-pleasing is the act of changing yourself to make people like you — trying to match their interests and values, flattering them, and hiding …

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CPTSD: Here’s What Healing FEELS Like

I don’t know why you’re not allowed to say this, but I will: Talking about the trauma that happened to you as a kid will not, by itself, heal Childhood PTSD. In fact, for a lot of us, talking about it, exploring it and processing it (the approach in traditional therapy) can make healing from …

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CPTSD: Can People SENSE It In You?

It’s awful to say, but have you ever noticed that when your Childhood PTSD symptoms are “up” again, it’s as if you have a dark cloud around you that people can feel? It feels a bit like an invisible force that pushes people away. It’s one more weird thing that can happen when abuse and …

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