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Anna Runkle

I'm the author of the Crappy Childhood Fairy blog, which offers advice based on my own experience and reading. I live with my husband and kids, and run a small business in the San Francisco Bay Area.

TRAUMA BONDING Explained

There’s one kind of romantic relationship that I wouldn’t wish on anyone — and that’s the kind that’s been made intense by a trauma bond. This another name for dynamic also known as “intermittent reinforcement, where one person gives intense affection and approval to the other person, and then alternates it with neglect, disapproval, abandonment …

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Feeling Stuck? Ten Tips to SPEED CPTSD Healing

There are a lot of people out there walking around with Complex PTSD. They might know they have it. They might even be trying to do something about it. But mostly, they’re just suffering with it,  afraid they’re going to become one of those people stuck in their trauma forever, never being fully happy, loved, …

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What Happens to CPTSD When You Rush Into Relationships

It is sadly very common that people who grew up neglected and abused by their parents end up either alone or cycling through one life-damaging relationship after another.  The terrible irony is that when you need love the most, Complex PTSD can keep you locked out of it.  You can try hard, you can read …

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Why You Keep PLAYING SMALL

Your childhood trauma tried to destroy you when you were little and you survived. Right now is the time when you get to decide whether you will take the path of real healing and become your full and real self — or whether you’ll take the road that looks easier, and keep playing small.   It …

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STOP SABOTAGING Your CPTSD Healing

Do you know what the biggest obstacle to healing Complex PTSD is? It’s not your parents. It’s not the health care system. It’s not politics or money or social media.  The reason you are getting stuck is most probably because you keep sabotaging yourself. You block your own healing with self-defeating behaviors.  We all do …

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Why People Still Don’t TRUST You (Yet)

There is something unfair that happens when you’ve survived traumatic times. Even when the abuse wasn’t in any way your fault, people stop trusting you.  You get abused and they don’t trust you. And you might think this is just because they were horrible people who don’t understand — and sometimes they don’t… But when …

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New Age Myths That Keep You Single

Unfortunately it can be very easy to take advantage of people who were traumatized as kids, and make them THINK that some uncomfortable or painful situation will lead to being loved. I’m talking about certain New Age or personal development ideas out there that are totally common and widely believed, but that are… just not …

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CPTSD and Your Work Life: Set Yourself Free to Succeed

If you were hurt by trauma when you were a kid, you’re already painfully aware of how the old hurts, and fears, and triggers come back to haunt you, right when you’re trying to take a big step up on your career. And it’s not that you’re not smart enough or capable enough.  It’s the …

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